Despite being apprehensive that staying at the ashram was going to madden/kill/brainwash me, it's been a lot more fruitful than i could have expected. The 5 am wake-up calls are bearable, the yoga is blissful and even the chanting isn't as rage-inducing as it could be. The sound of mating lions across the lake is generally our wake-up call (closely followed by an impossibly happy lady who wanders around lilting "Om Namah Sivayah").
Despite being frequented by some of the most pretentious people I've ever encountered, there are lots of lovely people at the ashram, and soon there are 7 or 8 of us who spend most of our free time hanging out, telling dirty jokes, skipping satsang and talking about boys. It's all very rebellious. Plus, I am harbouring two valium and and pack of paracetamol in my bag, so already feeling illegal; like I've smuggled fags to summer camp or something.
I have also struck it lucky with my "karma yoga" (self-service to the ashram) and spend an hour in the afternoons working in the Health Hut - a little shack that sells fruits, milkshakes, smoothies and other lacto-vegetarian nutritionally balanced goods to people. The only downside of the job? When someone orders, I have to announce that their order is ready over the speakers. By saying "Om...your juice is ready" etc. There are many times in my life when I feel like a total twat. And this is one of them. (still better than being given the job of cleaning the toilets though!)
Aside from the intense daily programme that barely alters, week one activities include a nighttime silent walk to a lake (aka mosquito-fest), an in-depth talk on the benefits of ayurvedic medicine, an utterly brilliant Kathakali performance (yes, really!) and a video on the founders of the ashram.
Then of course, on Saturday nights, there is the obligatory talent show. The Ashram Factor, Ashram's Got Talent - whatever you want to call it, it was a much-needed break from the usual chanting. Though frustratingly, some people seem to think that chanting can be considered a talent, and get on stage to tunelessly repeat "Jaya Ganesha" and other devotional phrases. (Please note: aimlessly banging a tambourine and repeating religious phrases is not a talent It's tedious). When the talent show is finished, we all dutifully queue up to receive our Saturday night treat. Excitement is mounting. What could it be? Chocolate? Crisps? A pint? Well no, actually. It's 3 grapes each. I know - 3 WHOLE GRAPES. It strikes me that perhaps I'm at fat-camp and no-one has told me.
The real saving grace of the whole experience definitely is the yoga though. I consistently feel great afterwards, and am experiencing a sensation that my body hasn't had the priveledge of feeling in years; healthiness. I can sleep easier, I'm enveloped in a wave of serenity and am tangibly relaxed. Our afternoon yoga teachers are fantastic too; a French lady who I could listen to all day (and who had me soothed in to sleep in the first class) and the smiliest Indian boy called Sujith, who is super bendy.
So, week one has been a resounding success. Here's hoping the second week will prove just as promising...
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