Mumbai: Slums, Angry Monkeys and Rivers of Shit

Mumbai... What a total assault on the senses! After an epic flight, me and Lisa arrive in Mumbai, and are thrown right in at the deep end. It's rush hour, so the chaos is intensified; there are people crammed everywhere, cars veering in every direction, slums (the largest is right by the airport - an interesting welcome to the city...), shacks, dilapidated buildings, cows, crows, sheep, thick smog, huge heaps of rotting rubbish, rivers of shit....you name it and I'm pretty sure Mumbai has it. Wide-eyed, we take a taxi in to the centre, completely in awe of our surroundings. The heat and humidity is totally overwhelming, the smells are suffocating (namely shit, piss, and rubbish) and the poverty is relentless. There are people sleeping on every available bit of ground, performing their morning ablutions at the side of the road completely oblivious to anything else, scraping around in dirt, defecation and rubbish.
It doesn't matter what you hear or read about Mumbai; it's only when you see it - see slum babies and children filthy and begging - that you can even slightly understand the reality of this place.

We're staying in area of the city called Fort, which is allegedly one of the nicer parts (though judging by the myriad of rats, stray dogs and cats, faeces and mysterious smells, I'm not so convinced). Nonetheless, we resolve to make the most of Mumbai, however intimidating it is.

Our first expedition is to the Gateway of India, an Arc-de-Triomphe style structure right down by the water. It's certainly very beautiful, and the breeze off the water offers a little respite from the stifling heat (it's unbearable...I barely need to walk 30 seconds and I'm sweating). After a couple of chai's, we decide to take a boat trip out to Elephanta Island, about 1 hour off the coast. Albeit scorching hot, Elephanta is a lush island, with a series if intricately carved Hidni caves dating back to 4AD. Really beautiful, although we did have to contend with stray dogs, wild goats, ferocious looking monkeys with fangs (who kept stealing water from people...cue me and Lisa being pathetic and clinging on to one another) and worst of all, of people asking to have their picture taken with us. Yes, really. In India, we are the ethnic minority. We provoke stares, points and comments, and people want their photo with us. Some even sneakily do it when they think we can't see them. Very strange indeed.

Back on dry land, we dodge a variety of beggars (I'm sure they are being trained in the art of begging; they are stealthy, prepared and persistent) and head to the market. Instead of a relaxing afternoon of perusing actual-Indian-tat, it becomes and arduous task. You as much as make eye-contact with a trader and they've got you adorned in bangles, beads and shawls. Impossible!

Luckily, one aspect of the city that doesn't let us down is the food. Curry heaven. And it's ridiculously cheap too - a couple of pounds for a meal in a restaurant. Though it's a difficult experience, being a female going out to a restaurant in Mumbai. They are completely male-dominated, and in the 3 nights we are there, we never see another woman dining out. Generally, after some whispering, staring and questioning we can eat in peace, although one night we are given a particularly hostile reception; a couple of younger guys start throwing bits of food at me, and I'm pretty sure the waiter has to restrain an older male customer from lunging and spitting at Lisa.

With our time here drawing to a close, I am glad we have braved the insanity and seen what the city has to offer, although I doubt we'll be be rushing back any time soon. 3 nights is plenty!
It really is a city of incomprehensible contradictions; next to some of the worst slums imaginable, skyscrapers are appearing. Alongside ancient monuments, there are mountains of rubbish. Sacred temples share streets with human shit. Mumbai, you are a headfuck!

So we bid farewell to the stagnant, dirty, grimy dystopia, thankful to be leaving the madness behind us. Onwards to tropical Goa... :-)